I recently stayed in a hotel in central Barcelona – a modern chic hotel. It even had a rooftop bar and pool (not that I managed to take advantage of the pool due to the weather not being so good). So what is this post about I hear you thinking? A hotel bathroom, that’s what.
Lies, Lies, Lies?
So from my own experience, hotel bathroom mirrors lie…. I’ve never looked so tanned in my life as I do in a hotel bathroom. I’ve questioned this before and been advised that it’s most likely the lighting that affects how tanned we look. I’m pasty pale 90% of the year apart from the odd occasion I get in the sun for more than a couple of minutes and manages to turn a great shade of lobster.
In the lovely hotel I decided to go for a shower on my first night there. Despite arriving at the hotel around 8ish, and being starving, I wanted to freshen up. So I tied my hair up into one of those sexy rough top knots and walked into the modern dark tiled bathroom equipped with a full wall of mirror over the sink, toilet, bidet and huge walk in shower. “We’ve got a bloody party shower!!” I exclaimed in excitement. This didn’t last long I can assure you…
I got all of my restricted toiletries out ready for the ol’ clean down and proceeded to get into the shower. I did the usual 2 minutes of fathoming out how this fancy shower could possibly work. Well it had buttons…I’ve not experienced buttons on a normal shower, only an electric shower. This is where my confusion started. Then I noticed it was clearly asking me which shower I would like to turn on…. there was more that one?…. oh yeah… one large circular shower head over me mounted to the roof of the shower and a hand held one, pointed directly at my face. What could go wrong here? Nothing! I actually understand said shower buttons and managed to turn the right shower on at a normal temperature. Phew! crisis averted….
So, I let the showery fun begin. Got my lovely Lush Rockstar soap and started to lather up. I was having a good rub, head tilted back, eyes closed and then it happened….. I opened my eyes, just one of those quick glances (I’m not sure why we all do these glances. Maybe a natural instinct. Maybe it’s something instilled in us as we’re most vulnerable when we have our eyes closed. I dunno) and I caught my reflection in the mirror. GAH!!!!
The Hotel Bathroom Mirror
What was I looking at??!!?? It looked like me, facial expression was definitely resembling resting bitch face, which is what I’m known for. Everything seemed to be in the right place. I’d not suddenly lost an arm or grown a boob on my head in the few minutes I’d been in the bathroom. Maybe I’d gone over my limit of brain use in such a small time with the whole figuring out of the shower but I really couldn’t understand what was wrong…
Knowing that we were wanting to go out to explore the immediate vicinity of the hotel, I hurried up, despite the confusion. I did however keep my eyes closed to prevent anymore confusion and to also let my brain process what it had just seen. Rub, rub, rub, splash, splash, splash. I’m sure you know what happens in a shower…
I grabbed the towel that I’d placed over the towel rail, turned the shower off and wrapped it around myself in a typical style. Brain was now attempting to process…
The possibilities were:
- Yes you’re really that bloody fat and ugly
- The heat in the bathroom is playing with your eyes
- There is something wrong with the mirror
I was just staring at myself. Long stares… Pulling and prodding at myself.
Now point 1 seemed the most logical. And before I get judged for being all “woe is me” and attempting to fish for compliments, that’s far from it. I’m quite accepting of the way I look and don’t need validation from others. Obviously I’d love to have the body of Demi Lovato but I got dealt the body I have and all the burgers, pizza, Chinese food and beer have helped me create the body I have today. I could accept that point 1 was the truth but it seemed odd that this wasn’t what I’d seen in my own mirror at home in both the bathroom and bedroom.
Considering point 2 I thought was unlikely. I’ve never heard of heat or steam affecting someone in the way that people start to see their own reflections like a scene from Shallow Hal.
And on to point 3. I stood in front of the mirror staring back at myself. I looked ok now. Normal to what I’m used to and would expect. That’s when it dawned on me… the bloody mirror had a join in it. So basically the wall along where the sink was had a mirror from the back of the sink up to the ceiling. But the wall to the left also had a mirror. What I’d seen when I was in the shower was my own reflection curving around the bathroom wall with a join in the middle. To describe what I saw was me but like 3 times as wide with a weird shaped chest and stomach.
Oh thank goodness!! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. I still wasn’t the oil painting I would prefer to be but I wasn’t the monster I’d seen 5 minutes prior.
Yay!! I’m not a munter!! Oh wait. Then I was welcomed by “mr stupidly small shaving mirror that can only move backwards and forwards and is no real use for tall or short people” apart from showing EVERY. SINGLE. Spot, black head, stray hair, you name it… I now had the shock realization that my beauty mirror at home is exactly that, a mirror that makes me feel beautiful. Now I’m not saying it’s like the mirror from Snow White but it must be softer or something. Anyway, now I was stuck in a foreign country with no tweezers and none of my usual beauty products. (I’d decided to go au-natural and not bring any liquids, creams, hair products etc and I even left many straighteners at home) ??
What to do next
So now my only option was to try and resolve the situation, avoid the mirror like it was some guy I’d once snogged when beer goggles were definitely in effect, or go out and buy some supplies. I’m not the most beauty focused and knowledgeable person out there when it comes to things like that. I wear what make-up I want to, I clean it off when I want to and I know what works and what doesn’t with my skin. I really couldn’t be arsed giving way to the pressures of “the mirror” and going out to buy things. Right, that was it. Those few stray hairs around my eyebrows weren’t suddenly going to make Stephen repulsed. He’s usually got his eyes on his phone anyway, I hardly think he’ll have noticed.
I could deal with it. Bye bye mr mirror, back you go. I pushed it away with such sass and put him back in his place. (Not sure why I’m calling it and him but it right at the time)
And I managed it. I went 4 days, 3 nights without using tweezers, razor, moisturizer, cleanser etc. etc. etc. and guess what?! I look pretty much the same. So lesson learned. I probably don’t need to be that concerned about things yet. Actually I think I’m pretty lucky to not ‘need’ loads of products.
At the end of the day
So in reflection (excuse the really awfully timed pun), bathroom mirrors are arseholes! They are. Especially hotel ones but the truth is that we shouldn’t need to feel that we have to be the epitome of perfection on a daily basis. You’re allowed a day off. It’s fine. Let your skin have a break. Give yourself a break. Spend those 5 minutes you might spend shaving on a daily, weekly or however frequently you do basis, use that 5 minutes to kick back and relax. Lay back in the bath and appreciate your beauty for what it is.
This is probably one of my longest posts and I really could have summed this up in like a paragraph at the beginning but I felt that it was an important subject that we shouldn’t just brush over.
Oh and just a note. I’ll be uploading a diary from my Barcelona trip once I get round to it.
xxxxx