Health and Beauty Archives

Fertility – A Right or a Privilege?

I listened to a podcast this week by Lynsey Le Keux about her journey to where she is now and the struggles she’s faced with fertility. Listening to the podcast I cried, laughed and really contemplated how the ability to have children is taken for granted. For anyone wanting to listen to the podcast, you can here: View in iTunes

Fertility, is it a taboo subject?

So obviously I couldn’t let this topic go by without sharing some thoughts.

You have no idea if the women, or man, next to you in the supermarket or at work has been affected by not being able to have their own children. It’s almost a silent issue that no one wants to talk about. It’s a basic human function isn’t it? For many it isn’t.

According to the NHS:

Around 1 in 7 couples may have difficulty conceiving. This is approximately 3.5 million people in the UK.

About 84% of couples will conceive naturally within a year if they have regular unprotected sex (every 2 or 3 days).

For couples who’ve been trying to conceive for more than 3 years without success, the likelihood of getting pregnant naturally within the next year is 25% or less.

This is staggering.

I guess it’s like a lot of subjects that people aren’t sure how to talk to people who are going through the process of trying to conceive or fertility treatment. I myself haven’t so I’m not claiming to have all the knowledge, I just have great empathy. There are so many people out there who desperately want to have children. Some do without a lot of trouble, some it takes time and a lot of effort, some it takes an incredible amount of investment physically, mentally and financially and some give up. Along the way many face extreme upset and loss. It’s incredible how lots of these people even make it out the other side.

I can be very cynical. Lots of my friends have children. Some have had smooth experiences, some not so much. All of them have beautiful children and wouldn’t change them for the world. That is a magical thing.

I’ve seen the stats briefly and always thought to myself “I’ll definitely be one of those who has problems.” I should be more positive, I know. But sometimes its hard to think positive when there are so many bad things going on around you.

“Why haven’t you had children yet?”

Oh god. I’ve had this question so many times. I’ve also seen the response on people’s faces when you don’t have a real response. One common thing I use in my blog posts is my age. I certainly don’t feel 31 but sometimes I feel the pressure. Just because I’m over 30 does not mean I should have a house full of children. I’m also quite stubborn. I’m not about to force myself to do something just because society and some people think you should.

From my late teens I was obsessed with not having any kids. I always used to say “Not now but maybe when I’m older.” It was my default response. I felt there were things I wanted to do before I had children. That excuse was ok when I was in my early, mid and only so much in my late 20’s. They all seem to have shot by so fast. Maybe this is why I have a group of friends who are in their mid 20s. I feel the pressure is relieved. Not that I’m saying my friends who are my age put any pressure on me but the topic does come up. It also can feel strange to be that friend who doesn’t have kids YET. It’s the yet word that is one of the most annoying. YET… sorry am I supposed to just click my fingers and get pregnant. I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that.

So many people don’t realise that some of their attitudes can feel rather patronising. You have got no idea whether I’m struggling with any medical issues that I’m too private to share, you also don’t know whether I’m going through any other issues that may affect whether I have children. Not everyone discusses things like this.

You’re probably thinking if I’m not up for sharing things then why write blog posts. I only do posts to try and provoke thoughts and possibly feelings. I’m not proclaiming that I know all the answers. I’m just asking that when you are with a friend who doesn’t have children, maybe there is a reason why that they don’t want to share. Maybe they are trying but don’t want the failures they have experienced made public, maybe they have tried and given up and now have to come to terms with something so big that it tears them apart, maybe they don’t want children (this is also an option – not everyone wants children) and there are many other situations they could be in.

The topic may be a sensitive one. The best thing you can do is be there for your friends. If they want to share and feel like they have the support around them where they feel comfortable to share then that’s great, if not be there as a silent comfort, not a judgement. There’s enough of that elsewhere.

Because of her experience, Lynsey is now raising money to help couples who have exhausted their chances of IVF through the NHS. If you’ve got a spare bit of cash this is more than a worthy cause. I’ve donated!

https://www.gofundme.com/keuxties-family-fund

Love Emily

XOXOXOXO

Insomnia – Finding the Cure – 1. Lush Products

You never realise how much you miss sleep until you don't have enough.

I've recently been struggling with insomnia. I'm knackered all day but as soon as I get into bed...BOOM! Wide awake. Well not really wide awake but there is no way my mind is going to stop thinking about work I have to do the next day, how I could move the furniture around, what clothes I'm going to pack on my holiday (which is months away), how much German I can rememeber... It's silly. I've actually found the link to a lack of sleep that is causing my migraines. This is a massive plus. I was struggling to find the trigger. It didn't seem to be any food, any drink, the fluorescent lights at work, being on the computer for too long, women's issues... believe me I've considered the lot. I hadn't had an episode since before Christmas and then last week I had the symptoms everyday. Luckily my migraines aren't as traumatic as some people I know but nevertheless, they take it out of me. I'm really getting frustrated with them. I've been struggling with feeling like I'm just a miserable git and that there isn't anything wrong with me and should stop complaining. I'm just also exhausted. Yesterday, I did some housework and then promptly laid on the sofa and dosed in and out of consciousness. It's not even like I'd had a hangover. I had struggled to get to the sleep the night before but as usual I put a film on in a bed and thought it would lull me off to sleep, but in standard fashion I spent nearly two hours watching Kevin and Perry havin' it "Large" in Ibiza. I've always used tv to get me to sleep. It's always been a comfort. I know I need to distance myself from technology before bed. I know I need to get into a routine. It's just really hard to switch off. It's hard to put your phone down. It's hard to not check the world of Facebook and Instagram just before you go to bed. What happens if something significant happens in the world and I don't see it until the next day? This never happens. I need to start looking after my own self rather than being nosey at others. I would love to deactivate my social media accounts for a while and see if I could live without them but I know I can't, it's like a compulsion. It doesn't help that I'm exposed to them all day everyday at work. I'm not complaining about this though, I enjoy it. Social media and it's effect on people fascinates me. Today I made the trip to Lush and bought myself some Twilight spray and some bedtime lavender based body lotion. I've been advised that these are good. I'm really more than happy to give these a whirl rather than having to go down the sleep medication route just yet. I shall give my feedback on both of these products once I've given them a good go. Hopefully I will find an easy way out of this. Love Emily

Growing Old Gracefully? Is it possible?

It didn’t even cross my mind to write a post about this until I saw this photo in my gallery on my phone.

Growing Old

I wasn’t even shocked or dissatisfied with what I saw. I do look at the photo and think that if that’s what I’m going to look like, I’m ok with it.

I really don’t know what happened when I turned 30. I don’t know whether I lost part of my conscious that cares what people think of me, I realised someone or whether I just was filled with acceptance or what shell I have.

Being comfortable is not how I would describe myself. Accepting is more accurate. I accept that I am who I am. I accept that I will never find a weight-loss remedy that will make me look like Demi Lovato overnight, these things take commitment, motivation and a hell of a lot of effort. I currently have none of those. I’m just lazy.

Something I still can’t get to grips with is the old cleanse tone and moisturise malarkey. Us women are kind of brainwashed by all these companies that we should be doing this to keep our skin fresh and youthful. Excuse me! I might not look 18 anymore but I don’t think I’m quite looking 31 and I only use moisturiser if I’ve got dry skin and I will admit that I only use cleansing products when I’m trying to wipe away last nights makeup the morning after. I know…. I’m disgusting. That’s like one of the worst things you can do. But… I don’t cake makeup on. I don’t use a trowel for application. To be honest some days I only put mascara on and pencil my eyebrows.

I am a true believer in “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it” for two reasons, laziness (as stated above) and that why cover yourself up. Why hide? I know for some people it is a confidence boost. They feel like they will be judged if they don’t have lots of makeup on. There is a lot of judgement to look a certain way. I’m not going to start ranting about how the media is to blame. We all know it has it’s responsibility but peer pressure has a massive blame too. I know for a fact that if I’d grown up in a family or group of friends that were heavily into the whole beauty regime, I would have most definitely taken up the habit. I’m one of the most impressionable people you would ever meet.

I think I’ll just stay being graceful.

Migraines – A Few Months On

Those of you who I speak to on a regular basis know that I’ve been suffering with migraines a lot recently. I’m still not able to pin down the triggers and to be quite honest it’s proper getting me down.

I’ve spent months trying to work out the cause. I’ve gone weeks with nothing and thought that I’d magically cured myself. Then suddenly the flicker of the aura appears and then I know the period of silence is over.

It’s so hard to describe to those who don’t suffer from migraines, what they are really like. And mine are completely different to others I know.

I mainly suffer from “stroke-like” symptoms and auras. What is an aura? I hear your thinking. Imagine those kaleidoscopes you had as a child. In my vision i see what is no bigger that a 5p shape in a mutil-coloured changing pattern. This then grows within my vision. Sometimes it stays a solid circle. Sometimes it changes to just the outline of a circle. Both ways it grows and grows until it covers all of my vision. It then moves around the outside of my peripheral and I end up with tunnel vision. This never lasts more than half and hour but it’s a disturbing reminder that I’m more than likely in for some numbness and/or a serious headache.

Like other non-migraine suffers, I didn’t really understand what they were and to be brutally honest, I didn’t really believe they were that bad. How bad can headaches be? I would have never mocked anyone for having them or claiming to have them but I didn’t really believe that they could possibly be that bad.

Well I can honestly say to all of those migraine sufferers out there… I AM SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU.

Now I am plagued with the constant fear of having a migraine.

The tiredness that follows a migraine is a pain. I feel knackered for around two days following on from a migraine.

I’v been to the doctors a couple of times now and all I get told is that I need to work out what my triggers are and that if I start needing more than six tablets a month, I need to go on full time medication to keep them at bay. I seem to be managing them with solpadeine and the sumatriptan that I’ve been prescribed but the uneasy feeling that I know I can only have six migraines a month where I can manage the pain effectively does scare me. I don’t know what kind of day I’m going to have to the next.

Now in no way am I trying to make out that my life is hell and that I have it worse than anyone else. Far from it. I’ve seen some of my friends not able to move. Throwing up. Loosing speech. The whole lot and I’m just sat here with my sparkly eyes!!! It just worries me where this has come from. It all started when I went away to Barcelona and came back to work sleep deprived and staring at a computer intently for too long. How is that a trigger? I feel that it should have been some life changing event that would start them. Apparently not. Apparently coming back to work after having a holiday is more stressful than staying at work. Might as well cancel all the future escape plans and just reside myself to plodding through life without a break. I know I sound like I’m being dramatic. I’m quite aware of this but it’s just frustrating.

There is a voice in the back of my mind saying “what if it’s something more sinister?”. What if it is? What if it’s a tumour? All three doctors did not seem overly concerned. I suppose that’s supposed to be reassuring. I’ll leave that for debate another day. I’m not particularly a hypochondriac but I can’t help feeling that there may be some other cause of this new ailment I’m not suffering from.

“You need to find your triggers.” The doctor said.

“You need to shut up!!” I felt like saying.

I’ve done the following:

Stop caffeine = didn’t work
Tried to increase my sleep intake = flipping impossible. When the hell am I supposed to live if I’ve got to sleep more. I don’t want to walk straight in from work at 6pm and go to bed. I actually want to be able to relax and wind down
Have breaks from the computer at work = I can have a day full of meetings and not be at my computer once and I still get them
Don’t get stressed = you what? Seriously? I get stressed picking what to wear for work. I’m a stressy person. I overthink everything. If stress was the cause, I would have them all the time

My next test is food. I’m going to start a food diary. Not only am I going to record what I eat, I’m going to record the times. I’ve had it said to me that not eating could be causing them. For a fat bird, I don’t eat a lot. It’s not like I sit at my desk nomming on jaffa cakes. Most mornings I forget to eat breakfast. If I can manage I’ll hammer a breakfast bar, but to be honest I’d rather not. On a weekend I’ll treat myself to something special like a McDonald’s breakfast or a bacon or sausage sarnie. It does seem that it could be a possible “trigger”.

The term “trigger” also annoys me. Not sure why. Maybe because you find a trigger on a gun and I have a sinister association with the word. Who knows? Maybe I’m just slightly weird, or a lot weird.

Anyway, rant over. I’m still here. All migrained up! Still wingeing.

Until next time guys.

xoxox

Hair Curling – The Modern Day Torture

Ok so I don’t know why I or any of us do this but we do. In the strive for beauty perfection we put ourselves through hell. (Well it’s not as bad walking on hot coals but it’s definitely a first world problem many of us endure) I’m talking about hair curling. I’m going to call it the Modern Day Torture. I describe it like having a tattoo; you endure stupid amounts of pain for an end result and then you completely forget about the pain until the next time.

My search for the perfect curling tool

I have naturally pretty straight thick hair. As I’ve got older I’ve played around with loads of different tools for hair curling. From tongs, to wands, from the Aurora Band to Velcro rollers, I’ve tried pretty much all there is to. I have drawers and cupboards full but I’m yet to be 100% satisfied with anything I’ve found.

I’m like most people though, I want what I don’t have. I’ve been striving for curly hair for years but never seem to be able to get them just as I want them.

What did I use?

This time I decided to dig out my old Velcro rollers. My mum bought them for me as a Christmas present a couple of years ago. They came in a lovely cute silk drawstring bag. A set of 12 in total I believe in three different sizes.

I have used this set before but I couldn’t really remember how they turned out. “What have I got to loose by trying them out again?”

What happened?

I sectioned my hair. Biggest rollers on the top of my head and the smaller ones round the side. Simple enough. I secured them into place with grips. Gave them a spritz of hair spray and we were off.

Hair Curling

I did worry how they were going to stay in my hair though. So a stroke of genius came over my and I decided to put a bandanna on. I was pretty please with the way I looked with that on, never mind the end result. I was worrying whether I was going to be able to sleep in them but I thought it was worth giving them a shot.

I laid in bed on my back and things seemed ok. I made sure that there were no grips jabbing me in the head and especially the ears. I couldn’t cope with much more aggravation of my industrial piercing. Seemed ok. Laid and watched tv for a bit. Not too bad and then slowly the ache started. The pressure of the way the rollers were positioned was pulling on the back of my head. Grips were poking a bit too. That’s ok I’ll just roll over… Oh no you won’t. That was even worse. I tried my pillow in all sorts of positions. Nope. Nothing. Ok so we were in for the long haul. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get much sleep. In the end I must have but I woke up about every hour tossing and turning not able to find a comfortable position. “Should I take them out? Should I give up?” I thought. Nope, I’m not a quitter. I will endure unnecessary pain for an unknown gain.

I’ve started to realize that the process of curling your hair is like baking a cake, you put a hell of a lot of effort in to creating what you hope will be a delightful product but there is no certainty or guarantee what you will get. Will it be a complete disaster? Will it be amazing? You don’t know until right at the end.

What were the results?

Hair Curling Afterwards

After what seemed like the worst night sleep, I got up, did my usual morning routine and it was the moment I’d been waiting for.

Ta da!

Well I was expecting more curls but I always do.

Overall I was pretty happy though. I’d decided to put the rollers in because I wanted more volume, not because I wanted a curly mop.

The review

The results: 6/10 – The curls didn’t last very long. It did look like a good blow-dry.
The process: 2/10 – The only reason I’m not giving it 1/10 because I know I’ve used some other method before that was more painful but for the life of me I can’t remember until I subject myself to it next time.

Anyway. I will continue to test out these processes. Hopefully finding the easiest and most pain free solution.

Xoxoxo

My New Lipstick – Barry M Unicorn

So I’m very excited. My newest lipstick arrived yesterday and today I get to try it out.

Before I start I will add that it no way am I being paid to promote this product.

Say hello to Unicorn!

Barry M Unicorn

For those that know me know that tend to favour Barry M make over others due to them being against animal testing and the fact that there products aren’t too expensive. For this make-up novice over here I find them perfect.

My most favourite lipstick up until has been the Genie one. For those who don’t know it’s in a pink and green, the stick is green but when it goes on your skin it turns a voluptuous dark pink on me. And I state reinforce the “ME” part of that statement. I believe the whole idea of the Genie and now the Unicorn is that it doesn’t go the same colour on everyone. Apparently it reacts with the oils in your skin and goes a bespoke colour to you.

How did I find it?

Well I do nearly all of my shopping online and I love Amazon. I was just looking through the new beauty and make-up products and there it was.

TA DAH!!

I HAD to have it.

So…

I’ve got to work this morning, exciting knowing that I’d got it in my bag. I’ve sat at my desk, got it out and put it on. Not before taking the obligatory before and after photos.

Wearing Barry M Unicorn

As you can see from the photo it’s not a “boom in your face” colour but it’s quite subtle. It’s quite a “juicy” colour if you can describe a lipstick shade that way. I’m quite happy with it. Usually I wear Lush Lip Tint at work as I find I don’t need to reapply it loads and when it fades it doesn’t fade from the centre out and requires hourly top-ups.

It feels nice and moisturised and doesn’t feel like it needs extra.

Overall I’d give it a 7 out of 10. Mainly because the Genie would get a 9 or 10 because I love the colour so much but this one is nice for work.

xoxox

Migraines – The new enemy

It’s been a while since I’ve been active on here and I’m trying my best to fit the time in but I’ve recently been struck with a new problem – Migraines.

Now I’ve never been a person who has suffered with headaches. Maybe the odd one as part of a hang over or sleep depravation but nothing like what I’m suffering with at the moment.

The beginning

It all started a couple of days after coming back from my trip to Barcelona last month. We came back late on the Monday and I was back at work first thing on the Tuesday. I should have planned it better.

Two days later on the Thursday I’d been working very intently on the computer all day at work. This isn’t anything unusual as my job is desk based but this particular day I was adamant I was going to complete some work so that I didn’t hold some members of my team up. Copying and pasting from one document to another. At around 4.15pm I noticed that I had this like weird holographic thing in my vision. I just thought it was because I’d been staring at the computer all day or that I looked at one of the light in the office too long and I was getting one of those light things you see when you’ve had a camera flash or bright light. I stood up from the computer, walked around and felt ok. It was just this thing in my vision that was disturbing me. Home time soon came round and I set off to drive home. It was sunny so I put my sun glasses on, prescription I may add. The weird light things were still there. I managed the hour long drive home and got in, let the dogs outs and sat down. This is when it got worse.

My fingertip on my right ring finger felt numb. I put it down to having too much pressure on it at some point but then I could feel the numbness moving across my hand on to the other fingers. I stared at my hand in confusion not sure what was happening. Clinching a fist, spreading my fingers out. I still couldn’t feel them. It was like when you lay on your hand and it goes numb. You can move them but you can’t fully feel it.

Then it got worse again… I could feel numbness creeping into my cheek. Now I started to panic. I was looking in the mirror for the droop of the face you are told to look out for with the signs of a stroke. I started smiling, gritting my teeth, poking my face in the mirror. Anything to check that I wasn’t having a stroke.

By this point I was panicking. Like my stomach was churning, I was shaking, my heart was racing… I didn’t know what to do.

Luckily Stephen was pulling up on the drive and he shortly walked in. “Something isn’t right!” I said to him.
He looked at me blankly, “What do you mean?” He said.
“I can’t feel the side of my face” I said.
“Get in the car now”
“Wait, it might just be me. Let’s give it a few seconds and if it’s still numb we’ll go.”

He picked up the house phone and rang the NHS direct number. He passed the phone over to me and proceeded to speak to a guy who was clearly reading from a script and before he even got to asking me questions about what was happening I had to give him all my details nearly down to what colour knickers I was wearing.

“Are you bleeding heavily?”
“No”
“Do you have pains in your chest?”
“No”
“Do you have a rash anywhere on your body?”
“I don’t think so but I’m fully clothed so I wouldn’t know”
“You say the side of your face went numb, did you loose control of your limbs?”
“No”
“I need all the information of your doctors surgery before we can do anything…..”

Inside I was screaming WELL I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT AN EMERGANCY!!

He then said “From the questions you’ve answered I don’t deem you to be in immediate danger. I am going to pass your details on to the doctor and get him to call you back.”

By this point the numbness had gone. I felt like a complete fraud. I even walked up to the polling station to cast my vote in the election. After being home for a couple of minutes the doctor was on the phone. He was lovely. He asked me to describe the whole situation. When I got to the end he said calmly “I’m 99% sure that what you’ve experienced is a migraine with auras…”

Phew!!!!!

“…But we would like to see you. We’re based at Barnsley Hospital A and E so get yourself up here and we’ll check you over.”

After managing to compose myself we got in the car and went to the hospital. I was seen by a lovely female doctor. She put me at ease and did all the tests. She again confirmed it was a migraine with auras. She put it down to work stresses, lack of sleep and the timing of my holiday.

“You might never get one again. You might have them for the rest of your life. I can’t tell you that. You just need to remember that if the symptoms are similar you know what it is. If things ever get worse or you do in fact loose control of your limbs or have any of the other symptoms of a stroke you need to get yourself to A and E.” she said.

She said I was very lucky to not have had the headache that usually comes with a migraine but that I could possibly have them in future if I suffer with them again.

And now

Well how naive was I? I continued on as normal. Things were fine. I had a week off work where I spent the week doing stuff around the house and being socialble. The first day back at work was fine. I got home that evening and was watching TV then I noticed I couldn’t see Stephen when he was sat at the side of me and that the picture on the TV was wrong. “Oh shit! It’s happening again!”

I proceeeded to go up to bed with ice packs and lay in the dark watching TV. The numbness came and started in my hand as last time and worked to my face. It was exactly how I expected. I went to sleep.

During the next day at work I had the auras. They start as a small round circle of holographic patterns and slowly get bigger until they cover my whole vision. The episode passed in about 30 mins. I thought I was ok. Spent the rest of the afternoon in meetings and then got in my car to drive home. I had a quick chat with my mum and then continued the journey. This is when the pain hit. Oh my god!! I’ve never felt anything like it. I cried all the way home screaming “Just get home! You can do this!” I managed it. Got straight in the house and went to bed. Buried my head in the pillow and went to sleep for 2 hours. I woke up with a headache but nothing as bad as earlier. I stayed awake for a fewer hours and then off to sleep I went.

The next day at work I was just shattered. I got home after work and went pretty much straight to bed to watch TV and had an early night.

On the Thursday things were ok at work. Got home and we were just in the car going out for tea and I saw them again. The auras! Damn them! We went to the pub for tea and I sat for most of his having my vision obstructed but I was determined I wasn’t going to wallow at home. If this was something I was going to have for the rest of my life, I was going to continue living. Afterwards I got home and went to bed.

Friday at work was ok until the auras started again. This was it. I got straight on to the doctors and they got me in that afternoon.

The result

So I went through the same check up with my doctor as I had the first time it occurred and he basically came to the same conclusion, it was migraines caused by stress and sleep depravation but now instead of having them as one-offs I was having them in clusters. He told me about different medication and how my life would now change. Now I have a tablet I have to take as a soon as I can see the auras and if I need to I can take another one 2 hours later.

I came out of the chemist thing “probably won’t get them anymore now.”

How wrong was I. Saturday lunch time the aura started. I took a tablet and dealt with it. The headache was agony buy it subsided after a couple of hours. And today the same but this time the aura started about 30 minutes after I’d got up. This put all ending to my theory that caffeine was my trigger. I had to take another tablet. The doctor did warn that the dosage might need to be doubled if I didn’t feel that they were doing enough. Today I found that one table worked and that taking a pain relief a couple of hours later helped.

So that’s it

Sadly at 30 I’ve now landed myself with something I didn’t see coming. Whether it’s started due to stresses in life or work, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m not letting it ruin my life. This week has been hard. This is exactly what I’ve looked like all week.

Migraine

I know this won’t be the only post I do about my migraines but I hope my experiences might be able to help or give comfort to others knowing that there are others struggling with it.

Xoxox

Hotel Bathroom – The Unforgiving Mirror

I recently stayed in a hotel in central Barcelona – a modern chic hotel. It even had a rooftop bar and pool (not that I managed to take advantage of the pool due to the weather not being so good). So what is this post about I hear you thinking? A hotel bathroom, that’s what.

Lies, Lies, Lies?

So from my own experience, hotel bathroom mirrors lie…. I’ve never looked so tanned in my life as I do in a hotel bathroom. I’ve questioned this before and been advised that it’s most likely the lighting that affects how tanned we look. I’m pasty pale 90% of the year apart from the odd occasion I get in the sun for more than a couple of minutes and manages to turn a great shade of lobster.

In the lovely hotel I decided to go for a shower on my first night there. Despite arriving at the hotel around 8ish, and being starving, I wanted to freshen up. So I tied my hair up into one of those sexy rough top knots and walked into the modern dark tiled bathroom equipped with a full wall of mirror over the sink, toilet, bidet and huge walk in shower. “We’ve got a bloody party shower!!” I exclaimed in excitement. This didn’t last long I can assure you…

I got all of my restricted toiletries out ready for the ol’ clean down and proceeded to get into the shower. I did the usual 2 minutes of fathoming out how this fancy shower could possibly work. Well it had buttons…I’ve not experienced buttons on a normal shower, only an electric shower. This is where my confusion started. Then I noticed it was clearly asking me which shower I would like to turn on…. there was more that one?…. oh yeah… one large circular shower head over me mounted to the roof of the shower and a hand held one, pointed directly at my face. What could go wrong here? Nothing! I actually understand said shower buttons and managed to turn the right shower on at a normal temperature. Phew! crisis averted….

So, I let the showery fun begin. Got my lovely Lush Rockstar soap and started to lather up. I was having a good rub, head tilted back, eyes closed and then it happened….. I opened my eyes, just one of those quick glances (I’m not sure why we all do these glances. Maybe a natural instinct. Maybe it’s something instilled in us as we’re most vulnerable when we have our eyes closed. I dunno) and I caught my reflection in the mirror. GAH!!!!

The Hotel Bathroom Mirror

What was I looking at??!!?? It looked like me, facial expression was definitely resembling resting bitch face, which is what I’m known for. Everything seemed to be in the right place. I’d not suddenly lost an arm or grown a boob on my head in the few minutes I’d been in the bathroom. Maybe I’d gone over my limit of brain use in such a small time with the whole figuring out of the shower but I really couldn’t understand what was wrong…

Knowing that we were wanting to go out to explore the immediate vicinity of the hotel, I hurried up, despite the confusion. I did however keep my eyes closed to prevent anymore confusion and to also let my brain process what it had just seen. Rub, rub, rub, splash, splash, splash. I’m sure you know what happens in a shower…

I grabbed the towel that I’d placed over the towel rail, turned the shower off and wrapped it around myself in a typical style. Brain was now attempting to process…

The possibilities were:

Yes you’re really that bloody fat and ugly
The heat in the bathroom is playing with your eyes
There is something wrong with the mirror

I was just staring at myself. Long stares… Pulling and prodding at myself.

Now point 1 seemed the most logical. And before I get judged for being all “woe is me” and attempting to fish for compliments, that’s far from it. I’m quite accepting of the way I look and don’t need validation from others. Obviously I’d love to have the body of Demi Lovato but I got dealt the body I have and all the burgers, pizza, Chinese food and beer have helped me create the body I have today. I could accept that point 1 was the truth but it seemed odd that this wasn’t what I’d seen in my own mirror at home in both the bathroom and bedroom.

Considering point 2 I thought was unlikely. I’ve never heard of heat or steam affecting someone in the way that people start to see their own reflections like a scene from Shallow Hal.

And on to point 3. I stood in front of the mirror staring back at myself. I looked ok now. Normal to what I’m used to and would expect. That’s when it dawned on me… the bloody mirror had a join in it. So basically the wall along where the sink was had a mirror from the back of the sink up to the ceiling. But the wall to the left also had a mirror. What I’d seen when I was in the shower was my own reflection curving around the bathroom wall with a join in the middle. To describe what I saw was me but like 3 times as wide with a weird shaped chest and stomach.

Oh thank goodness!! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. I still wasn’t the oil painting I would prefer to be but I wasn’t the monster I’d seen 5 minutes prior.

Yay!! I’m not a munter!! Oh wait. Then I was welcomed by “mr stupidly small shaving mirror that can only move backwards and forwards and is no real use for tall or short people” apart from showing EVERY. SINGLE. Spot, black head, stray hair, you name it… I now had the shock realization that my beauty mirror at home is exactly that, a mirror that makes me feel beautiful. Now I’m not saying it’s like the mirror from Snow White but it must be softer or something. Anyway, now I was stuck in a foreign country with no tweezers and none of my usual beauty products. (I’d decided to go au-natural and not bring any liquids, creams, hair products etc and I even left many straighteners at home) ??

What to do next

So now my only option was to try and resolve the situation, avoid the mirror like it was some guy I’d once snogged when beer goggles were definitely in effect, or go out and buy some supplies. I’m not the most beauty focused and knowledgeable person out there when it comes to things like that. I wear what make-up I want to, I clean it off when I want to and I know what works and what doesn’t with my skin. I really couldn’t be arsed giving way to the pressures of “the mirror” and going out to buy things. Right, that was it. Those few stray hairs around my eyebrows weren’t suddenly going to make Stephen repulsed. He’s usually got his eyes on his phone anyway, I hardly think he’ll have noticed.

I could deal with it. Bye bye mr mirror, back you go. I pushed it away with such sass and put him back in his place. (Not sure why I’m calling it and him but it right at the time)

And I managed it. I went 4 days, 3 nights without using tweezers, razor, moisturizer, cleanser etc. etc. etc. and guess what?! I look pretty much the same. So lesson learned. I probably don’t need to be that concerned about things yet. Actually I think I’m pretty lucky to not ‘need’ loads of products.

At the end of the day

Me in a hotel bathroom — This is just after the incident. See, I’m smiling because I’m not letting those stray eyebrows weigh me down

So in reflection (excuse the really awfully timed pun), bathroom mirrors are arseholes! They are. Especially hotel ones but the truth is that we shouldn’t need to feel that we have to be the epitome of perfection on a daily basis. You’re allowed a day off. It’s fine. Let your skin have a break. Give yourself a break. Spend those 5 minutes you might spend shaving on a daily, weekly or however frequently you do basis, use that 5 minutes to kick back and relax. Lay back in the bath and appreciate your beauty for what it is.

This is probably one of my longest posts and I really could have summed this up in like a paragraph at the beginning but I felt that it was an important subject that we shouldn’t just brush over.

Oh and just a note. I’ll be uploading a diary from my Barcelona trip once I get round to it.

xxxxx

Unnecessary and Useless Hairstyle – What is the point?

The weekend before last I witnessed what I can only be described as an unnecessary and useless hairstyle.

What happened?

I went out into Barnsley with the significant other. We went to a place called the Grill Pit and indulged in way to much grilled and BBQ food washed down with a number of cocktails and numerous beers.

Afterwards we decided to head upstairs to Jock’s Cavern, which is a cool rock/indie bar where they often have live music.

We settled into the atmosphere and engaged in the drinking and unorganized swaying to covers of popular rock songs.

I love to people watch and spend most of my time squinting (as I barely go “out” with my glasses on). I spotted the regulars: roadies, young overly dressed 18 year olds way too over dressed for the venue, groups of guys on the pull, drunk 50 plus women and a birthday group.

It was all going well until a group of, what I can imagine, were early twenties, fashionable girls. There were four of them. One had long hair, just down. One had a top knot. One had her hair down with some of it clipped up off her face. And the other……… well!

Imagine a top knot but at the back of your head. Only taking the hair of a 4 inch square lower than the crown.

Something like this
Useless Hair Style

In my head I asked the following questions:

Did she forget to take it out?
Was it that ridiculous that she thought she was setting some kind of trend?
Because it was at the back of her head did she not notice it was there?
Did someone play a joke on her?
Did it have a purpose that wasn’t obvious, like creating a surgery free face lift?The questions kept coming with no logical answer.

I decided I couldn’t be witnessing this so I decided I needed photographic evidence to write a post on here. Emily after a couple of pints/cocktails didn’t have her best judgement at hand…cue reaching for her phone and turning around to take a quick snap on her phone…

Wait…

No!

NOOOOOO!!!!

THE FLASH WAS ON!!!

ABORT, ABORT, ABORT MISSION!!

I panicked and as quick as I could swung my arm and made it (what I thought) look like I was taking a picture of the bar.

Phew catastrophe avoided! I think…

What’s this girl’s problem?

A lot of people who know me know that I may have struggled for some time to accept that the “top knot” is a thing. I struggled to come to terms with the fact that there was a tending hair style for men. Seemed strange at first. Then came women with top knots. Again it seems odd but I accepted it. I have no idea what this hair style would have even been called: The Back Knot? The No Point at all Knot Who knows?!

In conclusion

I learnt the following things:

Drunk Emily cannot and does not remember to turn her flash of when taking photos of unsuspecting targets
I will definitely THINK and CHECK before I ever attempt to do this again
I have real issues with hairstyles that aren’t practical or look good
I can deal with different variations of “top knot” but not a bloody “back knot”

Eyebrows – When Did They Become So Important?

When did eyebrows become so important?

This is a question that came up in a conversation with a friend of mine last weekend. The conversation started about make-up and products and inevitably ended up on that subject a lot of women take very seriously.

Now, go back 5 years… I don’t remember ever thinking “holy crap, I looked washed out today, oh yeah it’s because I forgot to put my eyebrows on”. Now this is a thing. It’s actually a thing! I refuse to leave the house without my eyebrows done or mascara. Why? It’s not like someone is going to walk up to me and go “what the hell have you done? You can’t come out today without fully coloured in brows!”

Believe me, I’m not the only one that feels this way.

I’m not a beautician or will ever profess to be one but I can completely see the difference. Having my eyebrows coloured in makes my eyes look “better”. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I’ve just spent 10 minutes trying to find a picture of myself pre-eyebrows and i can’t. Must have been the whole “selfie” generation came in just around that time. Coincidence? I think not!!

The first time…

Emily First Eyebrows I first had my eyebrows done for a mother and daughter photoshoot. As you can see I didn’t end up with “slugs” or a scouse brow. Far from it. It looks pretty natural. Before you start to judge me by thinking “that photo is totally photoshopped”, and you would be right. I’ve never looked that flawless in real life. EVER!

I struggle to be advernturous with make-up in general as I never know what to wear or how to apply. Add that with the fact I have got two different coloured eyes and then it blows my mind.

What do I use?

I prefer using products that are animal cruelty free. This is something I’ve decided to follow in the last year or so as I’ve started relying on make-up more and more. I prefer Barry M. Not because I have particular standards or anything but it works for me.

Barry M Brow Kit Barry M Brow Wow

Keeping the standard up…

So this is what I keep my eyebrows like now and hope to do for a while until some other trend comes along.

I can assure you now though, I will never shave them off. Did that once before… that story is for another day!