Fertility – A Right or a Privilege?

I listened to a podcast this week by Lynsey Le Keux about her journey to where she is now and the struggles she’s faced with fertility. Listening to the podcast I cried, laughed and really contemplated how the ability to have children is taken for granted. For anyone wanting to listen to the podcast, you can here: View in iTunes

Fertility, is it a taboo subject?

So obviously I couldn’t let this topic go by without sharing some thoughts.

You have no idea if the women, or man, next to you in the supermarket or at work has been affected by not being able to have their own children. It’s almost a silent issue that no one wants to talk about. It’s a basic human function isn’t it? For many it isn’t.

According to the NHS:

Around 1 in 7 couples may have difficulty conceiving. This is approximately 3.5 million people in the UK.

About 84% of couples will conceive naturally within a year if they have regular unprotected sex (every 2 or 3 days).

For couples who’ve been trying to conceive for more than 3 years without success, the likelihood of getting pregnant naturally within the next year is 25% or less.

This is staggering.

I guess it’s like a lot of subjects that people aren’t sure how to talk to people who are going through the process of trying to conceive or fertility treatment. I myself haven’t so I’m not claiming to have all the knowledge, I just have great empathy. There are so many people out there who desperately want to have children. Some do without a lot of trouble, some it takes time and a lot of effort, some it takes an incredible amount of investment physically, mentally and financially and some give up. Along the way many face extreme upset and loss. It’s incredible how lots of these people even make it out the other side.

I can be very cynical. Lots of my friends have children. Some have had smooth experiences, some not so much. All of them have beautiful children and wouldn’t change them for the world. That is a magical thing.

I’ve seen the stats briefly and always thought to myself “I’ll definitely be one of those who has problems.” I should be more positive, I know. But sometimes its hard to think positive when there are so many bad things going on around you.

“Why haven’t you had children yet?”

Oh god. I’ve had this question so many times. I’ve also seen the response on people’s faces when you don’t have a real response. One common thing I use in my blog posts is my age. I certainly don’t feel 31 but sometimes I feel the pressure. Just because I’m over 30 does not mean I should have a house full of children. I’m also quite stubborn. I’m not about to force myself to do something just because society and some people think you should.

From my late teens I was obsessed with not having any kids. I always used to say “Not now but maybe when I’m older.” It was my default response. I felt there were things I wanted to do before I had children. That excuse was ok when I was in my early, mid and only so much in my late 20’s. They all seem to have shot by so fast. Maybe this is why I have a group of friends who are in their mid 20s. I feel the pressure is relieved. Not that I’m saying my friends who are my age put any pressure on me but the topic does come up. It also can feel strange to be that friend who doesn’t have kids YET. It’s the yet word that is one of the most annoying. YET… sorry am I supposed to just click my fingers and get pregnant. I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that.

So many people don’t realise that some of their attitudes can feel rather patronising. You have got no idea whether I’m struggling with any medical issues that I’m too private to share, you also don’t know whether I’m going through any other issues that may affect whether I have children. Not everyone discusses things like this.

You’re probably thinking if I’m not up for sharing things then why write blog posts. I only do posts to try and provoke thoughts and possibly feelings. I’m not proclaiming that I know all the answers. I’m just asking that when you are with a friend who doesn’t have children, maybe there is a reason why that they don’t want to share. Maybe they are trying but don’t want the failures they have experienced made public, maybe they have tried and given up and now have to come to terms with something so big that it tears them apart, maybe they don’t want children (this is also an option – not everyone wants children) and there are many other situations they could be in.

The topic may be a sensitive one. The best thing you can do is be there for your friends. If they want to share and feel like they have the support around them where they feel comfortable to share then that’s great, if not be there as a silent comfort, not a judgement. There’s enough of that elsewhere.

Because of her experience, Lynsey is now raising money to help couples who have exhausted their chances of IVF through the NHS. If you’ve got a spare bit of cash this is more than a worthy cause. I’ve donated!

https://www.gofundme.com/keuxties-family-fund

Love Emily

XOXOXOXO

Saving the Planet – A Little at a Time

Ok so I’m the worst for jumping on the bandwagon with trends and fads but recently I’ve been more interested in doing good stuff for the planet. No I’m not suddenly going to start hugging trees and protesting. I’m doing my own little contribution saving the planet – a little at a time.

Why did it start?

Well for the last couple of years I’ve made a lot more effort to make sure that I buy make-up and cosmetic products that are animal cruelty free, preferably vegan. Original Source and Lush for cleaning and Barry M mainly for make-up. It wasn’t much but I felt that I was at least doing something.

Then I watched the last series of Blue Planet. Obviously it was meant for educational purposes. I was truly shocked as I’m sure millions of other viewers were of the impact that humans are having on our own planet. The amount of plastic we are dumping in our oceans is frankly shocking.

Basically we’re ruining the planet.

I was touched how they had even addressed the human plastic pollution issue on Finding Dory when I watched it recently.

I no longer put my plastic bottles in the general bin. I always recycle. I even collect everyone’s empty ones from work and bring them home to put in our recycling bin.

After hearing my rants about plastic bottles, one of my colleagues shared a this link with me:

https://4ocean.com/

This company are working at removing plastic from the ocean and by buying a bracelet you are removing one pound of crap from the ocean. Go on their website to have a look at what they do.

Within a week I was the proud owner of my bracelet.

Saving the Planet - A Little at a Time

I’m not proclaiming that by me buying this bracelet I’m going to solve all the issues but I do think it helps highlight things. Ideally our government and the rest of the world would start working on our recycling habits. After all we are one of the worst countries for recycling in Europe.

Now I just need some more strategic marketing or friends to send me some other causes to follow and I’m sure I’ll be jumping on those bandwagons with both feet.

Love Emily

XOXOXOXO

Friendship – Should it be Forever?

I was scrolling through photos from a recent trip I took with 3 of my friends to Berlin and I thought that if this photo wasn’t perfect for a post about friendship I didn’t know what was.

Friendship

When you think about it, you make friends generally in certain situations; education (school/college/university), work, through hobbies, through friends, through family… and so on. At my age and in my current lifestyle I don’t get many opportunities to meet new people and the number of friends I have seems to be diminishing. I hope it’s not because I’m a horrible person but more that people change and their situations change and sometimes friends can’t go with you.

What is friendship?

I started by looking at what the definition of “Friendship” actually is.

Friendships Definition

No where on this does it say how long a friendship should last, who it should be between, how often you should communicate. There are no details. There is no written rule and all friendships are different.

Different Types of Friends

I’m sure everyone has different types of friends. I do. I have friends that I’ve met through work that I talk to on a daily basis. I have friends that I met at school and uni that I see very rarely. I have friends that I have met through other people or during other events in my life. None of them more important than the other. All are special to me.

I’m sure everyone has those friends who you don’t see for ages but when you do it feels like it was only the day before that you saw each other.

I also have friends who I’m no longer friends with. Some that at one point I would be texting them daily or maybe weekly. Things have happened and now we don’t talk and I don’t even know if we saw each other on the street whether we would even say hello. It’s not animosity between us (well I hope not) it’s just that we’ve “fallen out of friendship”. Is that a thing? Maybe it should be.

Is it wrong to let friends go?

I’m a big believer that friendships are just the same as any other relationship. They are a two way thing. If one person does not put the effort it, does this mean that they don’t care? Should you bother wanting to stay friends with them? Sometimes you just have to accept that these friendships aren’t the same anymore. Now I’m not saying that you should cut all ties or be that blunt with the other person and tell them that you are no longer friends but you should pull back. Stop trying. Accept that this person may have been your best friend once upon a time but their life/relationship situation may have changed and you may not fit in it the way you used to. It’s as blunt as that.

I’ve got friends that have moved away and had families and some that live pretty close that I may be lucky to see once a year. I don’t hold anything against them as their lives have changed a lot since we were young and free 16 year olds with the only responsibility we had was college work, working part-time jobs and getting enough money together to go out drinking. A huge part of friendship is acceptance. My friends have to accept that I’m a loud mouth with bright coloured hair, piercings and tattoos. I accept all of their qualities. That’s what makes us friends. I also accept that they don’t want to be with me 24/7 and can’t. They have other friends, may be in relationships and may have other commitments. I don’t hold any of this against them. I don’t get jealous when I see them out with their other friends. That’s their choice, that’s who they are. Their other friends help make them the people are. We shouldn’t be jealous that our friends have other friends unless they are completely neglecting your relationship. That’s not fair. If this is happening you are well within your rights to question your friend or communicate with them that you feel that your friendship isn’t what it is. If your friend is a true friend they will understand your concerns and if they want to be your friend they will work with you to get your friendship on track. I know friendship counselling isn’t a thing. Maybe it should be. Maybe sometimes we do need someone impartial to give us some advice and give us a kick up the arse.

What is the purpose of this post I bet you’re thinking? Well there really isn’t any. It was one of those passing thoughts that I had and I thought I’d share my thoughts. I’m not an expert.

Love Emily

XOXOXOXOX

Medusa Piercing – My Easiest Piercing So Far

Well it’s been quite a while since I posted on here. To be honest things haven’t been very good with my health but I’ve had some free time today and I thought I’d get a post up. I’ve had some more work done my arm tattoo but I thought I’d write about my most recent piercing, my medusa piercing.

Sometimes called the philtrum, the medusa piercing is done just above your top lip in between the ridges. This is actually your philtrum.

Why did I have it done?

Well I’d been considering it for a while. When I had my septum done I was considering this one but wasn’t sure and because it had been abut 16 years since I last had a facial piercing I thought that the septum piercing was probably the most sensible considering scaring and being able to hide it.

I’d done the usual research online, following conversations on groups on facebook and looking at images. I even downloaded one of those apps where you can superimpose piercings on the photos to see what it would look like. I was pretty much convinced but I needed a bit of a kick.

I knew it was going to hurt, I was completely prepared for that but I just needed someone to give me a nudge in that direction. That opportunity came when my friend said that she wanted to get her nose pierced. Of course as the kind and supportive friend that I am, I offered to go along with her and then the lightbulb moment happened when I thought that if she was going, I would get my lip medusa piercing too. The date was set, we were going into Sheffield for a day drinking session on Good Friday and there was a really reputable piercing studio close to where we were meeting. It was on!

The Experience

We were meeting for drinks and lunch at 12pm so my and my friend decided to meet at 11am to go and get the procedures done. We were joined with two other friends, so moral support was overflowing. Medusa piercing, I was coming to get you.

We arrived at the studio, I felt like I was probably going to pass out. I’d picked up some sweets at the train station 20 mins before and swallowed them as fast as I could and had an energy drink. I’m well aware that no decent piercer will do so to someone with an empty stomach due to fear of fainting. We got to the studio and my friend was asked if she’d eaten and she said no. Tut tut!My friend filled in her form, picked her jewellery, paid up and then I did the same. What I’d eaten didn’t constitute as a sufficient meal too so we were sent off to Taco Bell to indulge in some food. about 20 minutes later we arrived back in the studio smelling like a Mexican fest.

We arrived back at the studio. I was as nervous as it gets. It’s completely normal feelings for me. I can’t comment on others. My friend went in first. I just paced around the waiting area with my two friends watching me. I was sweating, making jokes and trying to take my mind of the impending situation. My heart was racing. in what seemed like 2 minutes, my friend appeared from behind the curtain sporting her new blinged nose. It look great. Her eyes hadn’t even ran!

A few minutes passed and then it was my turn. Deep breathes…..

I walked behind the curtain and was greeted by this lovely girl (I say girl because I think lady sounds old). She asked me to sit on the bed while she got things ready. I could see as the sterile equipment and bits and bobs laid out. I was completely reassured that I was in safe hands. She went through what was going to happen and describe that because of where it was, it would more than likely feel like a sharp pinch and then it would be over and done with. I was fine with it. On the surface I probably looked quite cool but in my head I was screaming and crying. I get really anxious with situations that I don’t 100% know what to expect. Piercings are one of these. I know this isn’t probably that uncommon but nevertheless I was bricking it! Out came the pen. She marked up my lip and asked me to check if I was happy with its placement by looking in the mirror. It looked fine to me. I’m not sure I was entirely paying attention to where it was. I was too distracted with what was about to happen. Pretty stupid. She probably could have been putting it through my cheek and I probably wouldn’t have noticed.

I sat back down on the bed and she brought the clamp to put on my lip. She kept lifting my lip up to see where my web (the bit that attaches your lip to your gums) was and she said that due to my web being off centre that she would be able to put it pretty central but that if the back was slightly off centre the front would be in the centre. Sounded pretty reasonable. I was saying yes while she had my lip in a clamp. Not sure that’s what it sounded like but she got it. Then came the needle. Oh crap! It was going to happen. No backing out now. “Take a deep breath for me”. When I had my septum done I noticed I kept holding my breath. That is not good. breathing keeps you conscious so I was paying a lot of attention on just breathing.

1,2,3 it was done. The needle was through. She then threaded the bar through and went to put the purple gem on it. She was really struggling. My lip was in her fingers and she was attempting to put the top on for what felt like 24 hours. I could tell something wasn’t right. Oh god! Why don’t my piercings go right. Flash backs to when I had my septum done. She called out to the girl on the reception to come through and she questioned whether she had given her the right top for this bar. Meanwhile I’m very aware that I’m breathing like a wrong ‘en. She went out and checked and brought some others in. It was the wrong size. It wasn’t the right one. She packed my lip with cotton wool to make sure that the bar didn’t fall out. I’m sat there with my lip packed out. I must have looked like a right idiot. She sterilised the new top and proceeded to put it on my bar. It went on straight away. Crisis averted!!! I’ve never been more relieved.

All the blood starting flowing normally, my heart slowed down and I walked out from behind the curtain. My friends were sat their looking concerned. They had thought I’d passed out of something due to what seemed to be an emergency happened when the girl on the reception was called round the back.

It was done. I had my medusa piercing. Yay! Mission accomplished. I was told to avoid alcohol, spicy food and an endless list of other things. I was given aftercare instructions and we went on out way for a fun day.

How is it now?

It’s about 4 months since I had it pierced. It’s only got angry once or twice and generally that’s been because I’ve knocked it. I’ve been very good at not touching it. I made sure I swilled my mouth with water after every meal and used no alcohol mouth wash twice a day when brushing my teeth. It does seem to go a bit tender if I drink beer but it is one of the things they warn about not doing as beer has yeast in it. If I wanted a beer than much I would jut drink it using a straw. I know I shouldn’t have gone on an all day drink session straight after but it didn’t affect it that much. I still ate I just ended up with a swollen lip for a couple of days. It looked like I’d had fillers injected. Not a fan of the trout pout on me as I have a short top lip so I was constantly having to lick my teeth. Apart from what I’ve noted already it’s been pretty smooth sailing. I did have my concerns beforehand as I’ve never had a piercing that had internal and external healing to take place.

And here’s what it looked like a week after I had it done.

Medusa Piercing

Aftercare Advice

Don’t touch it! – as much as you’ll probably want to play with it, DON’T. Your fingers are quite frankly gross. If you need to touch it, make sure your hands are clean.
Give it a rinse when in the shower with water directly from the shower head. Use your tongue to push it slightly from the back to allow water to get behind the head of it.
Gently brush the back of the piercing with your toothbrush when cleaning your teeth. This will stop a build up of food and stuff on the back of it.
Use mouthwash with no alcohol after you’ve brushed your teeth. I tend to put a little pressure on the front of it so it moves away from the inside of my lip so that the mouthwash can get between the back of the bar and my lip.
Only if it flares up use a sea salt wash. I only did a couple of times during healing.

Love Emily

XOXOXO

Insomnia – Finding the Cure – 1. Lush Products

You never realise how much you miss sleep until you don't have enough.

I've recently been struggling with insomnia. I'm knackered all day but as soon as I get into bed...BOOM! Wide awake. Well not really wide awake but there is no way my mind is going to stop thinking about work I have to do the next day, how I could move the furniture around, what clothes I'm going to pack on my holiday (which is months away), how much German I can rememeber... It's silly. I've actually found the link to a lack of sleep that is causing my migraines. This is a massive plus. I was struggling to find the trigger. It didn't seem to be any food, any drink, the fluorescent lights at work, being on the computer for too long, women's issues... believe me I've considered the lot. I hadn't had an episode since before Christmas and then last week I had the symptoms everyday. Luckily my migraines aren't as traumatic as some people I know but nevertheless, they take it out of me. I'm really getting frustrated with them. I've been struggling with feeling like I'm just a miserable git and that there isn't anything wrong with me and should stop complaining. I'm just also exhausted. Yesterday, I did some housework and then promptly laid on the sofa and dosed in and out of consciousness. It's not even like I'd had a hangover. I had struggled to get to the sleep the night before but as usual I put a film on in a bed and thought it would lull me off to sleep, but in standard fashion I spent nearly two hours watching Kevin and Perry havin' it "Large" in Ibiza. I've always used tv to get me to sleep. It's always been a comfort. I know I need to distance myself from technology before bed. I know I need to get into a routine. It's just really hard to switch off. It's hard to put your phone down. It's hard to not check the world of Facebook and Instagram just before you go to bed. What happens if something significant happens in the world and I don't see it until the next day? This never happens. I need to start looking after my own self rather than being nosey at others. I would love to deactivate my social media accounts for a while and see if I could live without them but I know I can't, it's like a compulsion. It doesn't help that I'm exposed to them all day everyday at work. I'm not complaining about this though, I enjoy it. Social media and it's effect on people fascinates me. Today I made the trip to Lush and bought myself some Twilight spray and some bedtime lavender based body lotion. I've been advised that these are good. I'm really more than happy to give these a whirl rather than having to go down the sleep medication route just yet. I shall give my feedback on both of these products once I've given them a good go. Hopefully I will find an easy way out of this. Love Emily

6 Steps to Safety on Social Media

Your personal safety online is important this is why you should consider your social media safety. Everyone needs to be more careful online and I’ve come up with some tips that I don’t think are too hard to do but they could prevent a number of issues.

Regularly check the privacy settings of your accounts. Facebook and Twitter have different levels of privacy available for your accounts. Instagram has the option for people to request permission to follow you. Somewhere in the terms and conditions that you accept when you sign up to any of these services, you will more than likely be agreeing to the fact that they withhold to right to make updates to their services and in doing so they may revert to default your privacy settings. (I’m not saying this is the case for all platforms but it’s worth checking with Facebook changing their algorithms frequently.
Consider the audience of the things you share. Every time you post something you should really decide whether you want that content to be online forever. Do you want this to be part of your digital footprint? If your grandchildren’s children are given a summary of your life what do you imagine it would consist of? Mine mainly would have been mainly moaning about stupid inconveniences and bragging about something good happening. Just bear it in mind.
Who are you actually friends with? In Digital Marketing there is a term for the amount of people that will see you post. This is called “reach”. Basically it means the number of people who can see it. Often this is referred to as impressions but Facebook are different. Reach is fascinating. For example, if you post something there is a potential that everyone you are friends with will see it. This is unlikely but it is possible. Theoretically then if each of these people shared it, it could be seen by all of their friends and so on. This is why you often see people putting posts on that are going “viral”. Topics like “I’m wanting to see how many likes and shares I can get to show my students about online safety” is something I see quite regularly. This is good. Someone needs to try and educate the younger generations about the potential implications of having a presence online. So basically, when you post something remember that once you post it, this content is no longer yours, it belongs to the internet. Anyone and everyone can share it, screen print it, archive it, you name it, it can be done.
Whatever you post could be interpreted in different ways. Yes, the world has gone mad. Political correctness, everyone gets offended, blah blah blah... it is what is is. At the end of the day what you post online is often in the form of text. Text has no tone (unless you write all of your posts in the form of scripts with directions and everything). Just consider this when posting online. You also need to realise that your friends might not be offended by anything you post but if they share something and a friend of family member of their’s is offended, it could potentially escalate. I’ve heard of a scenario where someone posted some content on Facebook that was about the money cuts to the police force referring to something that Teresa May had said during the elections, this persons’ friend liked this content and one of their friends was offended. Unfortunately, this friend of a friend was a colleague, it escalated and this person ended up being investigated at work. You’ve got to think about how you are perceived online. It’s not just your friends that could see what you put.
Potential employers use social media to screen applicants. When you set up your Facebook profile when you were a young impressionable teen, you probably showed off and put silly things in the description/about us section. Might be worth checking this. That content probably is still there. When you were 16 you may have listed “getting drunk with my friends” as a hobby or interest. Strangely, a future employer is not going to be keen on taking on someone who thinks that is a good past time. And if there is you “social drinker expert” and “mrs I love knitting” they are probably going to safeguard themselves by choosing the more sensible option. Can’t blame them really.
Throughly consider who you connect to. It’s very easy to click that “accept request” button. I use the theory of “ if I bumped into this person in the street would I talk to them”. If the answer is yes then you probably are quite justified in having them as a friend or connection. If you are only friends with them so that you can stalk them, please think about your behaviour. If this was in real life, you could be arrested. Don’t think that because it’s online that this behaviour is acceptable. Of course it isn’t punishable but think about it from an objective point of view. If you’re spending your own time that could be used elsewhere spying on others lives you might want to take a minute to ask why, why are you doing that?

I wrote a post about Social Media in general. Click here to view it I hope these 6 Steps to Safety on Social Media has been insightful for you and will help you make the correct decisions when online.

Please remember

Social media is always changing, they are always updating settings and changing things. Whenever a platform may change it's look, it's probably safe to say that they will more than likely have changed something in the "back-end".

At the end of the day, it's your responsibility to check your settings, you waver the right to blame any of the platforms when you click accept to their terms an conditions so check, check and check again.

Google Garage – A Great Way to Learn

Google Garage

This weekend, I went to my first Google Garage meet. The topic was Social Media Strategy.

Being based in South Yorkshire, it’s only natural that I headed to the Sheffield branch. I found out about it in a chance encounter with one of the reps when their bus was on tour in the local area and I was intrigued as to what it was all about. Whenever I see the term “social media” I’m naturally inquisitive. This was some time ago, but with a new found drive to develop my skillset, I decided to book myself on one of their “classes”. I’ve got nothing to loose anyway.

I headed here: https://learndigital.withgoogle.com/digitalgarage/f2f

It wasn’t the easiest to find at first but I just had a look at what courses they had to offer and booked myself on the first one: Social Media Strategy. I also really want to do the Digital Marketing Strategy one but thought I’d go for social media first.

Yes, I may be a digital marketing professional but it certainly do not mean I know everything. Far from it! The nature of marketing is ever changing and in the digital world this can be on a daily basis. It’s so important to keep your eye on the ball and recognise that there are skills to be learnt and platforms to discover.

The whole process of booking onto my first class was simple: just a quick online registration form with an email for confirmation. A couple of weeks later I was sat in an very industrial looking shop-space which ultra modern furniture, staffed by cool, hip, causally dressed Google Professionals. Obviously everyone knows Google is an American company, but it always gets me how different the work environments can be in a US company.

Anyway, I was greeted by two older ladies who were only there to learn how to use social media and another lady who was wanting to learn how she could use social media to help promote her new holistic business.

“What a mixture of people?!”

This made me feel really happy to know that there were people, on a Sunday, willing to give up what people would normally class as social or relaxing time to work on their professional skills. It really gave me a warm feeling and I couldn’t help but have admiration for all those there. A few others arrived, from a self-employed make-up artist trying to break into B to B to an entrepreneur who had launched her own kids clothing line, it was quite clear there were similar motivations as to why we were all there.

So what did I learn?

Well the class lasted around an hour and a half, and looked at:

why you would use social media to help a business
how you can decide what content to share
who your audience is
what platforms to use
and how to measure your success

I kind of felt like an A* student. I knew all the answers. Not in an arrogant way but I’ve spent five years getting to know my audience on social media. I know we don’t just have one target audience, but many. This is very important when using social media. The lady, Annie, who lead the class, looked at me to give answers to her questions when I suppose those who were there who hadn’t even started their business social media experience were looking quite confused, I was smiling with an element of reassurance.

Often, when using social media for business purposes, you can loose sight of the purpose of the platform. You forget you are targeting people with feelings, you forget that when a lot of your audience are on these platforms they are doing so for leisure purposes. They don’t want to see you directly seeing to them. You need to be of value. Whether you’re sharing a recipe or a how to video, it’s better to become a friend or advisory rather than just fire out information constantly.

Overall I came out of the session with a great feeling of reassurance. I’m doing everything I should be doing. It’s a great pat on the back to know that years of hard work, testing, failures and successes have paid off. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am excited about setting direction and trying some of the new ideas I’ve been given.

I love how learning brings people together

All credit to Google offering these services for free to help professionals and those wanting to learn. I’m very sad to learn on my first meeting that it will be closing at the end of March, but it’s certainly not going to stop me going as much as I can before then. I know they have Garages around the country, so if you’re interested in learning more or just fancy doing something, give them a look.

Love Emily

Growing Old Gracefully? Is it possible?

It didn’t even cross my mind to write a post about this until I saw this photo in my gallery on my phone.

Growing Old

I wasn’t even shocked or dissatisfied with what I saw. I do look at the photo and think that if that’s what I’m going to look like, I’m ok with it.

I really don’t know what happened when I turned 30. I don’t know whether I lost part of my conscious that cares what people think of me, I realised someone or whether I just was filled with acceptance or what shell I have.

Being comfortable is not how I would describe myself. Accepting is more accurate. I accept that I am who I am. I accept that I will never find a weight-loss remedy that will make me look like Demi Lovato overnight, these things take commitment, motivation and a hell of a lot of effort. I currently have none of those. I’m just lazy.

Something I still can’t get to grips with is the old cleanse tone and moisturise malarkey. Us women are kind of brainwashed by all these companies that we should be doing this to keep our skin fresh and youthful. Excuse me! I might not look 18 anymore but I don’t think I’m quite looking 31 and I only use moisturiser if I’ve got dry skin and I will admit that I only use cleansing products when I’m trying to wipe away last nights makeup the morning after. I know…. I’m disgusting. That’s like one of the worst things you can do. But… I don’t cake makeup on. I don’t use a trowel for application. To be honest some days I only put mascara on and pencil my eyebrows.

I am a true believer in “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it” for two reasons, laziness (as stated above) and that why cover yourself up. Why hide? I know for some people it is a confidence boost. They feel like they will be judged if they don’t have lots of makeup on. There is a lot of judgement to look a certain way. I’m not going to start ranting about how the media is to blame. We all know it has it’s responsibility but peer pressure has a massive blame too. I know for a fact that if I’d grown up in a family or group of friends that were heavily into the whole beauty regime, I would have most definitely taken up the habit. I’m one of the most impressionable people you would ever meet.

I think I’ll just stay being graceful.

Social Media

Working with social media can be a “cool” thing to proclaim. People may be jealous that I spend quite a lot of time, legitimately, at work on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, often not as much as I would like.

However I do now have to ask, has having social media completely taken away the freedom we once had?

I recently attended a union meeting that included advice of how to behave online. Basically they gave the following advice:
*Don’t list your employer online
*Make sure that your privacy settings are as strong as possible
*Don’t be “friends” with your boss/manager

Fair enough. But why can’t you do this if you know how to behave online? I am friends with my manager on Facebook and I do list my employer on there too. It is my personal account. I have a limited friends list. I often do friend culls. probably less often that I should do.

Facebook

Something that I have been told recently is that every time Facebook do an update not the service, they often reset the privacy settings on your account. So it’s worth giving your security settings a good check every so often.

So what is correct behavior online?

Good question!

I’ve seen this question answered in a number of ways over the last 5 years whilst I’ve been working in digital marketing.

My favorite is don’t put anything online that you wouldn’t want your nan to see. Good idea!

How about don’t put anything online that you wouldn’t want your boss to see?

Everyone needs to remember the following:

Everything you put online STAYS ONLINE, FOREVER

It never goes away. Despite deleting all your statuses on Facebook. They DO keep a log of all your activity. It will be around far longer than you will.

You need to be aware of what your security settings are set to

Don’t just presume things are ok. It’s your responsibility to take care of your own accounts and your presence online. If you put that you’re out having a heavy drinking session with the girls and somehow your ex turns up, just think how he could have found out. The worst setting on Facebook is the “Friends of friends” option. Right… I hope I kind of know my friends well enough to know I’m not friends with any wrong ‘ens. As I always say, good criminals don’t get caught! But you have no idea who your friends are friends with.

Also, if you have your profile fully locked down to friends of friends but tag your friends in it, this opens up this status to be seen by their friends. If you post something and then they share it, only your settings keeping it private with prevent this content being shared.

Something else you need to consider is what content you like. I’ve often seen short videos or gifs that may be related to having a bad day at work. I did used to like these because I innocently thought “this is very accurate” or “it’s my profile, I can like what I want”. Wrong! So wrong. For example, imagine it’s around Remembrance Day, you see a picture of a poppy floating around good ol’ Facebook saying “Lest we forget”. What a lovely tribute, you may think. This may have been the case once upon a time, but not now. Check where the sources of this content. I’ve heard of an incident where someone had done this but she didn’t realize the content she’d shared casually originated on a Britain First post. If that’s your cup of tea, fine. But some people may be deeply shocked to think that they are unsuspectingly being associated with such extreme groups without thinking.

This post it not a lecture about how to behave online it’s more some points to consider. I’ve been witnessing some behavior online recently that has been done without thought about any repercussions. Every time you post you need to think:

Could this offend anyone?

Would you say this to your nan/share this with your nan?

This is where my question about freedom has come from. Are we now being silenced on a platform we once saw as being free? Yes. Of course.

I’ve created 6 easy steps to follow when staying safe using social media. Click here to view the post

Just remember to stay safe guys!!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – The Soundtrack

This has got to be my favourite soundtrack. (At least at the moment anyway)

Mr Blue Sky – ELO
Fox on the Run – Sweet
Lake Shore Drive – Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah
The Chain – Fleetwood Mac
Bring it on Home to Me – Sam Cooke
Southern Nights – Glen Campbell
My Sweet Lord – George Harrison
Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) – Looking Glass
Come a Little Bit Closer – Jay and the Americans
Wham Ban Shang-A-Lang – Silver
Surrender – Cheap Trick
Father and Son – Cat Stevens
Flash Light Parliament

I can’t stop listening to it on Spotify. I don’t know whether it’s the great ness of the movie that resonates when you play it or whether it’s just simply a clever collection of songs.

So two pieces of advice, 1. If you haven’t seen the film, what are you doing? Get it watched! 2. (Once you have seen the film or even before) get listening to the soundtrack however you can, Spotify, YouTube…. No excuses when the links are there. Go on! I think you’ll enjoy

Love Emily